Damaged Desire by Qiana Rae

Dezzi’s seemingly perfect life goes spiraling out of control after the tragic death of someone close to her. Everything that was supposedly the truth her entire life becomes lies after reading her mom's journal. She realizes her life wasn’t as perfect as she thought it was. She ends up with only two people in her who she would literally trust with her life. Her boyfriend Adonis, and best friend Ess. Adonis is older, but he is her first love. Ess is the "angel" on Dezzi's shoulder who keeps her out of trouble, and doesn't really agree with Dezzi and Adonis' relationship, but supports Dezzi anyway. Adonis doesn't turn out to be the person Dezzi thought he was, and he betrays her in the worst way, causing her to make some decisions she would've otherwise never had to make. With that decision, she enters an entirely unfamiliar world that becomes familiar extremely fast.